Sunday, March 11, 2018

Spilled Milk, Martin!

"Hello! Hello!," I screamed into the phone, like a shrill madwoman on the verge of homicide.

"Um...yes, hello," a disembodied male voice said into my ear. He cleared his throat and continued: "As I said, this is Martin. How can I help you?"

"Oh," I said, "you have such a smooth and professional voice, Martin. I thought you were a recording."

Sunday, February 25, 2018

Time To Be Still

My Mama Jenneice is very wise.

Her insight runs deep as the Mississippi (Is the Mississippi deep? I should have a fact checker!) and her vast life experiences have shown her many truths. I appreciate the perspective she has gained from being...well...old! (Ha!) She seems to know the right things to say at the right moments to say them. She is like that wise "Mr. Owl," except she knows about a whole heck of a lot more than Tootsie Pops!

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Pennies From Heaven!

It happened one July when, instead of frigid temperatures, the air was summertime-hot, and instead of a blanket of snow draping the mountains, they were brown and dry and parched from the sun.

A dear friend of mine had sent me a picture on Facebook. The scene was a department store, with the focus of the picture being a handbag display. Shoulder bags adorned dark mannequins, colorful purses were placed on small crates. And there, in the very center of the display, was a beautiful, gold leather, Kate Spade purse. Shaped like a piƱata.

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Stop It!

My curly-haired Irish saint (who is also known as Bridget, ha!) has recently favored a new phrase; some snappy vernacular to add to her already "saucy" vocabulary.
That little turkey will not stop saying, "Stop it!"

Monday, December 11, 2017

Seeing Through the Mud

I once wiggled and climbed (and even waded) into the dark bowels of a cave in Southern China.

Looking back, I'm not entirely certain our excursion was "OSHA approved." Which is just my attempt at cleverly saying "safe." Dudes. I don't think it was safe.

For starters, we were given random, mismatched, ill-fitting military helmets to wear. (Eh?!) Our guide was like a poster boy of "DID NOTS:" Did not speak English. Did not have a pocket first aid kit. Did not have proper licensing or accreditation from the "Licenses to Go Into Caves" committee. Did not carry a map or a flashlight. And I don't recall him wearing shoes.