As your doting mother, I feel it absolutely necessary to teach you ethical standards. The world has a lot of beautiful and wonderful things to offer...BUT...sometimes it is like a pond, and there is a lot of scum out there! It is imperative for you to maintain your integrity. That is why I strive to instill in you the value of honesty. I want you to always tell the truth!
When you want to fib about smacking your brother in the head for putting one of your Barbies in the toilet (what IS up with Cam and the toilet??), be honest. Truthfully tell me what really happened...because I already know what happened. (Thanks to the eyes in the back of my head.)
Accept responsibility for your own actions. When your report card is distributed, don't hide it. If you get a "D" in English, you'd better own up to it. If you don't, I WILL make you read Shakespeare the ENTIRE summer break. (Your mama has an English degree! Don't think I won't do it!)
If you are considering lying, try to think of the consequences. When you are tempted to lie to me about being out all night with a shady hooligan who drives a Camaro and answers to the name, "Toker," don't. Tell the truth. Your lying will only hurt yourself, your conscience, and your character.
It is important to be honest, and...
Alright, alright! I admit it! This letter is not entirely about pointing your moral compass in the right direction. Truth is, I must confess something to you. I should be practicing what I'm preaching, and because I feel so strongly about the principle of honesty I must "come clean" about something. (I refuse to be "Mama Hypocrite!")
Yesterday, you asked me, "What do you have in your mouth?" I answered, "Carrots," knowing how you despise them.
I lied. I'm so sorry. I lied to you because I did not want to share with you.
They were pretzel M&M's.
Forgive me and remember, "to thine own self be true,"
Your "Mama Leisha"
(Who has been reformed. Honest.)