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Saturday, January 28, 2012

In An Effort To Beautify Myself

In an effort to beautify myself, I gave myself a manicure.  I pulled out the nail clippers, the emery board, and the cuticle cream.  I stationed myself in the bathroom, on the toilet (the seat was DOWN!), and went to work on my gnarly hands.  After I was finished with all the snipping and filing, I pulled out the nail polish.  A dazzling silver with chunky flecks of glitter in it.

And that's when it all went to hell.

I CANNOT paint my nails!  I'm sloppy.  I make a mess.  I apply too many coats, and ALWAYS before letting the previous coats dry completely.  I saw a giggle-worthy picture on Pinterest that depicts my "nail polish prowess" to a tee (or is it just "T"?):

I can relate! an effort to beautify myself, I decided to shave my legs.  It should be noted that I am part primate.  I have lots of hair.  Hair here and hair there.  Hairy, hairy everywhere!  (Dr. Seuss just might be our pediatrician.)  I turned on the hot water, filled the tub with bubble bath, and slid down into "Calgon bliss." 

It didn't last.

I had one leg done when I heard a Bang!  Bang!  Bang! on the door.  Lilly burst into the bathroom and yelled, "Mom!  Mom!  Camren took all of his diapers out of the bag!  He's throwing them down our stairs.  He's making a mess!  He dumped his goldfish crackers on my floor.  And I can't find Sally.  I think she's under your bed, trying to eat my sock."  (I probably don't have to tell you that I got out of the bathtub.  One hairy leg.  One smooth one.)

Later, in an effort to beautify myself, I decided to try my hand at "the smoky eye."  How to create the perfect smoky eye has eluded me for years...and then my little sis introduced me to Cara.  (Or rather, Cara's

Yep, the girl is smokin'!  And a makeup artist to boot.  I watched her tutorials, pulled out my enormous makeup bag, found my favorite eyeshadow brush, and went to work.  Here's a picture of my end results (and I may have done something wrong):

See?  I told you I was muy hairy.
By the end of my "day of beautification," I had thrown in the towel.  Instead, I chose to eat an exorbitant amount of Whoppers before bedtime.  (You know, the chocolate malt ball kind?!)

Hey.  It's what I know.

Have a beautiful weekend!

Monday, January 23, 2012


A couple of days ago, Lilly woke up at 8:00am and proclaimed, "Today is the best day ever!"

As I fought to rouse myself from slumber, and to clear the sleepy dust from my swollen eyelids, I couldn't help but wonder, "Is she nuts?"

I dragged myself out of bed, threw on a sweatshirt, and fumbled around in search of my leopard print slippers.  (I'm sure no one is surprised I have leopard print slippers.)  I cracked open the blinds in our bedroom and was met with gloom, gloom, gloom--leafless trees, dingy and frost-crusted grass, dried up bushes resembling planted twigs, and dark and dreary skies.  All the components were there to drive me back to my bed, to hide beneath the warm covers.

Meanwhile, Lilly was skipping through the house.

She opened the blinds in the living room and sang out:  "Just look at that?!  It's a beautiful day!"

She pranced into the kitchen and parted the curtains adorning the sliding glass door.  She yelled, "Today is the best day ever!  It really is!"

I buttered my wheat toast, tiptoed around Cam pushing his toy trains across the dirty floor, and fought the urge to reach for a cold can of Diet Coke.  As I listened to Lilly's merriment in the next room, I thought about how my hellacious bedhead matched my attitude.

And then I remembered a quote I adore, from the brilliant and inspirational Maya Angelou:  "If you don't like something, change it.  If you can't change it, change your attitude."

Resolving to exhibit (and embrace) a positive attitude can make a BIG difference in your day.  Sure, days are long and kids are crazy.  Sure, taking care of a puppy and shoveling her poop out of your front yard can be equally overwhelming and disgusting.  And sure, it's easy to get bogged down in the monotony of the "winter blahs."  But if you strive (and sometimes battle!) to maintain a happy attitude, you'll start to see the good around you.  You'll see the dazzling slivers of sunlight in an otherwise gray day.  You'll realize your five-year-old IS that sunlight.

Change your attitude.  Change your day.

Monday, January 16, 2012

What Do You Do When You Do What You Do?

A dear, old friend of mine ("dear," because she makes my heart happy, and "old" because I have known her since the ninth grade) recently quit her job to be a full-time mommy to her TWIN BOYS!  She has always "punched a time clock" out in the busy work force, and is now going to give  being the CEO of SAHM a whirl!  She emailed me and posed the question:  "What do stay-at-home moms even do?!"

Being one who enjoys a.) "waxing philosophical" and b.) thinking I am SO much wiser than I actually am (ahem!), I gave some serious thought to her inquiry.  After pondering, my "Mama Leisha brain"--which is a big ol' storehouse of ideas, according to my daughter--began putting a list together for this dear, old friend.  (I really, REALLY love lists!)  Here's what I came up with:

What Do Stay-At-Home Moms Do?

1.)  Stay-at-home moms watch enough "Yo Gabba Gabba" to make their eyeballs drop out of their heads.  (Dear Nickelodeon, or Creators of "That Wacky Show":   I would like to mail D.J. Lance Rock a package of Twinkies.  That man's legs resemble toothpicks.  Are you paying him enough?  Because he clearly can't afford groceries.  Please email me his mailing address.  Love, Aleisha.)

2.)  Stay-at-home moms do laundry.  Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of laundry.  

3.)  Stay-at-home moms clean up a colorful myriad of messes.  Spilled apple juice.  Barf.  Toothpaste used as finger paint.  Pee.  Poop.  Stepped on crackers.  Mud.  Sticky lunch remnants on kitchen table legs.  Orange Doritos fingerprints on walls.  Toys.  Dirty socks.

4.)  Stay-at-home moms drink Diet Coke, because it makes them feel blissful in the midst of chaos.

5.)  Stay-at-home moms are tough chicks; they occasionally brave the McDonald's playland so that their children may know the joys of cheeseburger Happy Meals...and germy slides.

6.)  Stay-at-home moms use words and phrases like:  Time out!  Don't pick your nose!  Did you remember to wipe your bum?  Go "nigh-nigh."  Where's your blankie?  Stop that!  And my personal favorite...Why are you handing me your booger?

7.)  Stay-at-home moms "pretend play," build blanket forts, and know all the words to the magical spell that turns the carpet from "hot lava" back to carpet again.

8.)  Stay-at-home moms kiss and cuddle and hug and squeeze and snuggle their kiddos!

9.)  When it comes to making "The World's Best PB&J" or "The World's Cheesiest Mac N' Cheese" for lunch, stay-at-home moms nail it.  Every.  Time. 

10.)  Stay-at-home moms write blogs!  (*Insert my obnoxious giggle here*)

Here's the thing to remember:  Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, a work-at-home mom, a single mom, a working mom, a mom-to-be, or a crazy mama like me, you are pretty terrific!  Yes, indeedy!

"You are the guardians of the hearth.  You are the bearers of the children.  You are they who nurture them and establish within them the habits of their lives.  No other work reaches so close to divinity."
(--Gordon B. Hinckley) 

Hey!  That's MY mama!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Resolutions...More or Less

Worry less.  Stress less.  Yell less.  Criticize less.  Pout less.  Assume less.  Fear less.  Complain less.  Doubt less.  Laugh more.  Read more.  Hug more.  Sleep more.  Exercise more.  Pray more.  Serve more.  Smile more.  Kiss more.  Forgive more.  Praise more.  Love more.

Happy 2012!

(What will YOU do more of in 2012?  What will you do less of?)

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Favorite Aussies

Confession:  I've got it bad for Hugh Jackman.

The man is sexy with a capital SSSSSSS.  (Insert "sizzle" sound.)  Oh my goodness, he makes my heart go flip and flop and pitter and patter.  He's "hot-to-trot" as the The Drover.  He's smokin' as Wolverine.  He's sexy when he's hosting the Oscars.  He's even "easy on the eyes" in that cornball flick, "Kate and Leopold"...which was not my favorite, by the way.  (Brief side note:  What happened to Meg Ryan's hair in that movie?!)

I can't mention "Hunky Hugh" without sharing a memorable and hilarious dream I once had.  It was time for my annual exam with my gynecologist.  When I arrived at the women's center, the receptionist informed me that my doctor would not be able to see me, due to an emergency cesarean at the hospital.  She said, "Our other doctor is available, if you'd like to keep your appointment."  I opted to stay.

I was ushered into an exam room, where I promptly stripped, put on a drafty hospital gown, and attempted to drape the paper sheet (the size of a dish towel) across my lap.  (Why are those stupid things always so small?!)  I plopped my bare patootie onto the tissue-covered table and waited.

Suddenly, there was a staccato knock-knock-knock at the door.  It was flung open, and Hugh Jackman walked gallantly in.  He wore a white lab coat and a stethoscope.  He smiled beautifully and said in his dreamy accent, "Hi there!  I'm the doctor!"

My jaw dropped to my naked knees!  I jumped off the examination table and sprinted through the door.  Nurses started chasing me down the hall, yelling, "Ma'am!  Ma'am!  Where are you going?  Come back!  You can't just leave!  You have an appointment!"  I kept running--hospital gown flapping.  A couple of nurses caught up to me and tried to take me back to my room.  I held my ground and forcefully said, "No!  Oh no, no, no, no!  No way!  There is NO WAY I'm going through with it.  HE IS JUST TOO GOOD LOOKING."

Then I woke up.

Naturally, I had always assumed that Hugh Jackman would occupy the "favorite Aussie" spot in my heart...  But then I met Kerry.

Ain't she purty?  Kerry is an Australian mum to three beautiful kangaroos....uh, I mean, children.  We "met" each other in the great, vast "blogosphere" and quickly connected.  Her blog, "It's The Little Things..." is delightful, honest, and always enjoyable to read.  Kerry has been wonderfully supportive of me, and a good friend.  Her comments are kind, her humor is infectious, and her heart is as big as "the land down under" that she hails from.

And speaking of a big heart...that Aussie mum sent me a parcel of chocolate and sweet treats.  (She knows I have a wicked sweet tooth.)  Her thoughtful gift was waiting for me in my mailbox yesterday!

I will NOT be sharing any of this stuff!  HA HA!

Kerry also gave me a couple of cards; one had pictures of her lovely family in it.  As you can see, I put her picture on my fridge.  I place special mementos and things that I love on my fridge:  cards from cherished friends, humorous magnets, preschool crafts, pictures of people who matter to me.

(I wonder why I don't have a picture of Hugh on my fridge!?!)

I'm grateful for Kerry, for being so generous and nice, and for making me feel like a worthwhile "blogger" and person.  I'm grateful for Hugh Jackman, for NOT being my gynecologist!  He can continue being my ultimate, "number one" celebrity crush.  Kerry can be my favorite Aussie.  No contest. 

G'day Mates!

(Hmm...I think I'll eat those red frogs first!)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Ah, Friendship!

A good friend will always share a candy cane with you.

A good friend doesn't mind if you buy the same dress as her; she tells you you look pretty.

A good friend eagerly hands you one of her two most beloved princess dolls and says, 
"Let's play!  You be Jasmine."

A good friend is happy to see you;  her eyes light up and her grin widens when you walk (or dance) into a room.

A good friend will hug away your sadness and replace it with JOY!

A good friend is good for giggling with.

A good friend will love you forever...even when you eat the last marshmallow.    

Where would we be without good friends?

"Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together."
--Woodrow Wilson