Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Honesty and E.L. Fudge

To my little Irish saint, Bridget,


My darling, as your doting mother (who feels the gravity of the responsibility of "raising you right" sitting on her shoulders), I must work to instill in you good and moral values. One of the most important of these is honesty; a value that cannot be underestimated. It is imperative for you to maintain your integrity. I want you to always tell the truth!

When you want to fib about biting your brother in the leg for putting one of your Shopkins in the toilet, be honest. Truthfully tell me what really happened. Because I already know what happened.  (Thanks to the "magical mommy eyes" in the back of my head!)

Accept responsibility for your own actions. (There is an element of living your truth in that!) When your report card is distributed, don't hide it. If you get a "D" in English, you'd better own up to it and come clean. If you don't, I WILL make you read Shakespeare the ENTIRE summer break. (Your mama has an English degree! Don't think I won't do it!)

If you are considering lying, try to think of the consequences. Picture my loving face. In labor with you. When you are tempted to lie to me about being out all night with a shady hooligan who drives a Camaro and answers to the name, "Toker," don't. Tell the truth. Your lying will only hurt yourself, your spirit, and your character.

It is important to be honest, and...

Alright, alright! I admit it! This letter is not entirely about pointing your moral compass in the right direction. Truth is, I must confess something to you. I should be practicing what I'm preaching, and because I feel so strongly about the principle of honesty I must tell you something. This isn't easy for me...so...here goes:

Yesterday, you asked me, "What are you eating?" I answered, "String cheese," knowing how much you despise it.

I lied.  I'm so sorry! I'm a liar, liar. (Pants on fire.) I lied to you because I did not want to share with you.


They were E.L. Fudge elf cookies. And they were delicious.

Forgive me, dear daughter. And remember, "to thine own self be true,"
Your Mama
(Who has been reformed. Honest.)

2 comments:

  1. Hahahaha, this is the best story every!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm all about hiding my favorite foods from my kids. I'm sure they'll do the same when they're parents, which means I've taught them well.

    ReplyDelete

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