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Sunday, May 20, 2018

Respectfully Aggressive

Earlier in the week I had the opportunity to speak to three hundred young girls, between the ages of twelve and seventeen, about the importance of being a light in the world.

After my remarks I was approached by a lovely older woman. She proceeded to tell me that she had worked for the FBI and had traveled around the world for her job. She had worked closely with the military over the years, and had been given opportunities to visit places like Afghanistan and Iraq. She. Was. Fascinating. top it all off, she had blue hair!

She said something interesting to me about women (especially younger women) and their need to take a stand against opposition and adversity. She said they "need to be respectfully aggressive."

Respectfully aggressive.

I admit I thought about that phrase for the better part of the evening. I wanted to wrap my brain around it and understand it's significance and how it applied to me. As one who feels it absolutely essential to raise good and strong women in today's society, I wanted to pick it apart for the benefit of my daughters. What on earth does it mean to be "respectfully aggressive?"

I think it means we strive for and embrace a powerful duality. Strong and kind. Thoughtful and assertive. Powerful and humble. Unapologetic and forgiving. (And knowing when to apologize, then having the courage and sincerity to do it.) It means that, as women, we stand immovably strong in our convictions while unconditionally loving those who differ from us. It means being passionate--about a cause, an idea, a talent, a movement--while being compassionate to our fellow beings. We can be stubborn, but teachable; gentle and unbreakable. It means we fight for what's right, we fight for what we want, we fight for all that is good while being the good.

(So basically it's what it means to be a woman!)

And hey, if we have to kick some butt and take some names while "doing all the things," at least we can do so with a smile, right?!

And blue hair.


  1. Oh my, I’m impressed with your incredible explanation of “respectively aggressive.” When I first coined that expression people would ask me what I meant. You hit the nail on the head. I guess I just needed to meet you for the right explanation. “Duality.” That’s all I needed to say. Thank you. Cheryl Ray, the blue haired lady��������

  2. Cheryl!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!! I loved meeting you. Your notion of respectfully aggressive is powerful and spot on. And yes, it is duality!!

  3. Oh my gosh I adore you girl...I love this post and it is so something I needed to hear TODAY!! I wish we could have been there to hear you speak and I think Cheryl and I would be friends..even if my hair is red ;)

  4. I wish I could have heard you speak! I wish I could have met the blue haired lady! I love your definition of "respectively aggressive". I love that you are inspiring the current and next generation to be respectively aggressive with the help of a new blue-haired friend. I'd like to join you both, even if my hair is black, but in some light isn't that close to blue?


  5. نستخدم افضل ادوات تنظيف و غسيل الخزانات لاننا افضل شركة تنظيف خزانات المدينة المنورة و عمال مروبون وحاصلون على شهادة صحية فقط اتصل بنا لتحصل على افضل خدمة تنظيف خزانات بالمدينة المنورة
    ونقدم ايضا شركة مكافحة حشرات المدينة المنورةتقضي على جميع الحشرات


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